Those nice people at Thames Water have just sent me a letter about some exciting news that they are building a water treatment plant in Newham. They point out how important it is in the light of climate change and the growing population have on water usage. They have even produced a nice little leaflet that explains it all.
It is so important that I understand it that Thames Water have added a second sheet to the letter in case English is not my first Language encouraging me to call them as soon as possible stating which language I use and they promise to call me back with a translator. They then repeat that message in: Albanian, Arabic, Bengali, Cantonese, Farsi, French, Gujarati, Hindi, Kurdish, Mandarin, Polish, Portuguese, Punjabi, Pushtu, Somali, Spanish, Tamil, Turkish, Urdu, and Vietnamese.
For fuck sake, do I give a fucking fuck you cunts? In the same post you cunts also sent me a letter and another booklet; the ‘Annual Customer Information Booklet’ no less. I don’t give a fuck about that fucker either, nor do 99.999999% of all your fucking customers. If anyone wants to know then they could go to your website; keeping that up-to-date should be your main priority not wasting shit loads of money on items of spam post that, if one behaves oneself, will go straight into the re-cycling. Get your fucking costs under control you cunts.
What is it with all these fucking languages? The national language of the country is English; the commercial language you use is English. Fucking stick to English in your communications and not incur extra costs providing fucking translations for every fucking cunt on the planet. If they want to read your fucking spam mail then they should pay for their own translation or learn English for themselves. Why should I have to pay for a non-core service exclusive to them? Do you provide English-to-English for me?
The reason why there is fucking population growth in the UK is because of fucking Labour’s fucking stupid gerrymandering policies. The capital costs of this new plant will be borne by consumers that are already here and have been for their whole lives. You cunts should be knocking on the doors of the fucking Labour party to fund it. You fucking cunts fucking would not fucking need a new fucking plant if it was not for those fucking cunts.
While you fucking cunts are at it – send the fucking bill for all those translator cunts to the fucking Labour party too.
P.S. How come the Dutch, Germans, Italians, and Swedes, etc don’t get a fucking translator? What about those that are too stupid to be able to read? Those cunts are typically Labour voters too; don’t they get a translator?