Hairy Arsed Bloke

Meet the neighbours

2010-09-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

I live in East London and this video covers about 90% of the under 30 non-Bengali population.

If you go down Brick Lane, all the bars are jam packed with them. However, their Mecca is Hoxton and along Old Street.

Dementia Burden - what are the true costs?

2010-09-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Spotted on the BBC News site today by CUK's Chantho

Another blog: Mad Cameron

2010-09-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

I have started a new blog that will chronicle the idiotic things that David Cameron (the iDave) comes out with.

Norks

2010-08-10T06:32:00.000-07:00

Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before?

2010-08-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me from Contractor UK will be aware of my fondness of the Airplane movie. Look what I found when searching on YouTube

I would embed this one, but they won't allow it.

Scarlet Fantastic: No Memory

2010-05-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why, but the guitar riff from this has been at the back of my mind for over a week.

There is one of those six-degrees of separation things here, but I'm not going to go into that!

My thoughts exactly

2010-05-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to Grumpy Old Twat for that.

One of those "Where is my Uzi" moments

2010-04-06T03:28:00.001-07:00

We could have got the fucking lot of the cunts.

Exciting news about a water treatment plant in Newham

2010-04-01T04:21:00.000-07:00

Those nice people at Thames Water have just sent me a letter about some exciting news that they are building a water treatment plant in Newham. They point out how important it is in the light of climate change and the growing population have on water usage. They have even produced a nice little leaflet that explains it all.

It is so important that I understand it that Thames Water have added a second sheet to the letter in case English is not my first Language encouraging me to call them as soon as possible stating which language I use and they promise to call me back with a translator. They then repeat that message in: Albanian, Arabic, Bengali, Cantonese, Farsi, French, Gujarati, Hindi, Kurdish, Mandarin, Polish, Portuguese, Punjabi, Pushtu, Somali, Spanish, Tamil, Turkish, Urdu, and Vietnamese.

For fuck sake, do I give a fucking fuck you cunts? In the same post you cunts also sent me a letter and another booklet; the ‘Annual Customer Information Booklet’ no less. I don’t give a fuck about that fucker either, nor do 99.999999% of all your fucking customers. If anyone wants to know then they could go to your website; keeping that up-to-date should be your main priority not wasting shit loads of money on items of spam post that, if one behaves oneself, will go straight into the re-cycling. Get your fucking costs under control you cunts.

What is it with all these fucking languages? The national language of the country is English; the commercial language you use is English. Fucking stick to English in your communications and not incur extra costs providing fucking translations for every fucking cunt on the planet. If they want to read your fucking spam mail then they should pay for their own translation or learn English for themselves. Why should I have to pay for a non-core service exclusive to them? Do you provide English-to-English for me?

The reason why there is fucking population growth in the UK is because of fucking Labour’s fucking stupid gerrymandering policies. The capital costs of this new plant will be borne by consumers that are already here and have been for their whole lives. You cunts should be knocking on the doors of the fucking Labour party to fund it. You fucking cunts fucking would not fucking need a new fucking plant if it was not for those fucking cunts.

While you fucking cunts are at it – send the fucking bill for all those translator cunts to the fucking Labour party too.

P.S. How come the Dutch, Germans, Italians, and Swedes, etc don’t get a fucking translator? What about those that are too stupid to be able to read? Those cunts are typically Labour voters too; don’t they get a translator?

For fuck sake - watch this

2010-03-21T14:40:00.000-07:00

Liam Halligan a columist for the Daily Telegraph has got this 100% right.

A future full of fear

2010-02-22T06:22:00.000-08:00

Thanks to GOT for that. The cunt probably nicked it from someone else though.

A lesson from history

2010-02-18T06:37:00.000-08:00

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

In one of those cases of truth stranger than fiction we have a case today where none of the parties want to be in power in the short term because of the imminent economic collapse. In the above prophecy it was the end of North Sea Oil; today it is the results of Gordon Brown’s incompetent economic policies.

I believe that Labour should continue in power so they get to face the blame for their crimes when the economy collapses. In the election that follows they will become extinct.

In the meantime, the Conservatives will have a chance to dump Cameron and take up sensible policies of low tax and spend.

Something optimistic; just for a change

2010-02-17T02:17:00.000-08:00

A story the other day about Carly Simon and her song “You’re so vain” brought this song to mind.

The video shows New York in more innocent times.

We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters

Let the river run
Let all the dreamers
Wake the nation
Come, the New Jerusalem

Silver cities rise
The morning lights
The streets that lead them
And sirens call them on with a song

It's asking for the taking
Trembling, shaking
Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters

We the great and small stand on a star
And blaze a trail of desire
Through the darkling dawn

It's asking for the taking
Come run with me now
The sky is the color of blue
You've never even seen
In the eyes of your lover

Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters

It's asking for the taking
Trembling, shaking
Oh, my heart is aching
We're coming to the edge
Running on the water
Coming through the fog
Your sons and daughters

Let the river run
Let all the dreamers
Wake the nation
Come, the New Jerusalem

Ah, I needed a dose of that.

That cunt Galloway calls Brown a cunt without using the word

2010-02-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

I fucking hate that cunt Galloway as much as I hate the cunt Brown. However, he does have a way with words

Galloway is my MP. He is a fucking shithead cunt. When the revolution comes, I bags the right to string the cunt up myself. Although we could use him as a fluffer act to warm up the crowd when we execute Brown, Blair, et al.

Google search - afghanistan ladies hairy cunts

2010-02-07T08:12:00.001-08:00

Looking through the key words on my stats service I spotted someone found this blog using the phrase 'afghanistan ladies hairy cunts'.

What sick fucker uses google to find that!

I'll probably be top now for that.

Fear the Boom and Bust

2010-01-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

H/T: Zerohedge

This is brilliant. I've never liked that Keynes wanker.

Front running the election

2010-01-23T06:07:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Grumpy

Postman Al raised the terror alert level last night to ‘Severe’. He freely admits that, “there is no intelligence to suggest than an attack is imminent.” It is true that there is a conference next week to discuss the problems in the Yemen, but does this really justify the increase in level from the prior level of ‘Substantial’?

Many have suggested that this is part of a plan to generate an excuse to avoid a general election. Although I believe that the psycho mind of the pant-pissing, one-eyed snot-goblin has considered this on more than one occasion, I doubt that raising the level at this time is part of that plan. To justify suspending the election there would have to be an ‘incident’ before he could get away with it. We will have to wait until April before the cunt puts that plan into action.

I think that this is more likely to be old fashioned manipulation. When a shop has a sale it is often suggested that the price of the goods is increased for a period beforehand in some of their outlets so that they can justify their claims of discount. This is what is happening here. The terror level has been raised for a period of time before the election. Nothing will happen, because it was never going to, and the level will be dropped just before polling day. The nuLieBore cunts will then claim that they have saved the country again by preventing a terrorist act.

Look for more things like this. Despite the polls that show a substantial lead for the Conservatives I don’t believe that they are such a certainty to win. Not that they would be any better that the cunts we have in power now. The distribution of votes means that there is still a very good chance of nuLieBore retaining power after an election. If they were certain to lose then they wouldn’t hold one at all (see above). Fake promises, bribes to various demographics, and manipulating the fear of the people using the terror alert level are in the election armory of nuLieBore and they will use them to win an election with extreme prejudice.

OI ! Snot Goblin, you cunt! Nuke the fuckers!

2010-01-06T06:09:00.001-08:00

The evil, pant pissing, snot goblin is getting grief from former ministers Hoon, and Hewitt who want a confidence vote in his leadership.

What you going to do then you queer psycho? What are the voices in your fucking ugly one-eyed head telling you? I know that all you want to do is go back to the nursery and sit in your nappy on your rocking horse, but you can’t right now.

If you want to fuck those cunts right up then go round to see Queenie right away. She can put things right. Ask her to dissolve parliament and to hold a general election. That will teach all those cunts a leason.

Go on do it. You know you want to. Do it NOW!

Somehow I don’t think he will take my advice or encouragement. If this ballot ever takes place, which I doubt, he will win.

The weather man says that this cold spell is going to last a few more weeks. Just suppose that he did call an election, we could have a new government just as the weather gets nice again.

Predictions for 2010

2010-01-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

The UK will still have a Labour government

Gordon Brown will no longer be prime minister and will spend sometime in hospital

UK will lose its AAA rating

Sterling will weaken

Inflation will rise ever higher especially in food and energy

Interest rates will be higher

Unemployment up

Public sector strikes

Cuts to unemployment / sickness benefits and maybe to pensions too

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria

Revealed: the mastermind behind the underpants bomber.

2009-12-29T05:14:00.001-08:00

The evil mastermind behind the underpants bomber can be revealed as Labour MP for Rhonda, Chris Bryant. He can be seen in this image demonstrating a prototype of the bomb used in the failed attempt to blow up a airliner on Christmas Day.

It is unknown if the MP's expense claims had any part in funding the operation.

He came out of nowhere

2009-12-25T00:02:00.000-08:00

There were we, cruising at 37,000 feet minding our own business then there was this awful bang. It was only after we landed that we found out what it was.

Time for a song - least we forget.

2009-12-22T07:26:00.000-08:00

The snot goblin to save the world (again)

2009-12-16T04:58:00.001-08:00

El Gordo, the evil snot goblin, has gone off to Copenhagen to get the climate summit back on track.

"I'll teach the cunts to stop fucking about and agree to all the taxes that we want", he was heard to have said as he went to meet one group of delgates.

Act on CO2 - It's all bollocks

2009-11-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

Grumpy Old Twat has a worthy campaign against all this climate change bollocks and HAB is 100% behind him.

The Daily Politics has an interesting piece too: Seven thousand years of tree ring data

Inflation

2009-11-18T06:10:00.000-08:00

It looks like the governments policy of printing money, sorry quantitative easing, is beginning to work: inflation has begun to rise. Before we know it will be in double digits. All that horrid debt will just melt away.

In the thirties, inflation was sold to the American people as a solution to all their problems.

"What a man. What a leader. Yowza! Happy day's are here again" The evil snot goblin will be getting Princess Mandy to sing that tune soon.

If a measure of inflation that included asset prices was used then inflation has been running at around 20% for years. The evil snot goblin has extended his bi-polar mind into the UK economy. On the one hand we have had rampant inflation in assets such as houses and equities but also low inflation or even deflation in consumable goods. Of course only the low or falling priced items are used to measure inflation via the CPI. The government has deliberately encouraged some assets to have high inflation rates so they can milk the wealth effect for all its worth. This is the means by which they have retained power over the last 12 years. The low inflation has been bought by flooding the UK with extra workers driving down wages. Although most people haven’t realised this yet, living standards have fallen dramatically for many in the UK.

For anyone that has ever voted Labour, a message

Update 19 Jan 10: Dec CPI +0.6 to 2.9% exceeding [some] expectations

PM Clown Interviewed

2009-09-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

I have to thank Bob Shawadiwadi for giving me the inspiration to produce this video. I have plans to produce more in this series.

Never going to give you up

2009-09-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone fancy a walk?

2009-09-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

One of my heroes is Old Holborn. He is arranging his annual stroll around London

It’ll be nice to get a bit of exercise.

Is Gordon Brown the evil twin of Chorlton from the mirror universe?

2009-09-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

The physical likeness is uncanny.

The snot goblin is no happiness dragon

The evil, pant pissing, snot goblin brings misery to all.

Cosgrove Hall should sue for deformation.

solid oak inverted banjo thwinking device

2009-09-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

What the fuck is a “solid oak inverted banjo thwinking device” you may ask. My answers is that I have no fucking idea what a “solid oak inverted banjo thwinking device” is. Blame Durbs at ContractorUK forum. I posted that I was No. 1 for Snot Gobbling Deviant on Google, but it was bumped down to No. 2 when that post was indexed. He was taking the piss as wanted to know what happens when solid oak inverted banjo thwinking device is posted.

We shall see what happens.

There is no pain, you are receding ...

2009-09-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

There has been an extremely enjoyable blog posting that has been doing the rounds the last couple of days regarding the poor mental health of that cunt Brown. Rather than repost it as others have, I’ll post a link to the original entry: Not Born Yesterday - ESTABLISHMENT 'COLLUDING IN PLIGHT OF SICK MAN BROWN'. Given my feelings about the pant pissing, snot gobbling Cyclops, I cannot resist making a comment or two.

The author claims that the sources of his story are valid, but they are too afraid to come forward. I believe this to be the case. I also believe that this story is in large part very true. As a lay person with absolutely no medical training whatsoever, I can say, with all the authority my qualification justifies, that Gordon Brown is a absolutely barking fucking mad cunt.

However, the very last thing we want is for the snot goblin to be declared insane by some doctors. If that happens then it immediately follows that the evil cunt is not fit to stand trial for his crimes. We will never get the fucking cunt executed like that. Having Gordon Brown, B’Liar, Mandy the Queen of Darkness, et al, hung drawn and quartered must be our main objective.

There is another thing to consider. Could these stories of the snot goblins poor mental health be deliberately planted by him? It is wholly consistent with the duplicitous nature of the cunt to feed these stories so that he can get himself declared unfit to stand trial and evade any prosecution for his misdeeds. He has a long history of such dirty tricks.

Update: I just had to add this video from the movie version of 'The Wall', by Pink Floyd

Forever Autumn

2009-08-26T15:25:00.000-07:00

For three days in the pouring rain I fought my way along roads packed with tourists, migrant workers and bogus asylum seekers, each babbling in their own tongues; many either taking jobs form the indigenous population or drawing benefits. All that was of value to me was London, but by the time I had reach home soaked to the skin, I knew everything was gone.

The summer sun is fading as the year grows old
And darker days are drawing near
The winter winds will be much colder
Now you're not here.

I watch the birds fly south across the autumn sky
And one by one they disappear

I wish that I was flying with them
Now you're not here.

Like the sun through the tres you came to love me

Like a leaf on a breeze you blew away

Through autumn's golden gown we used to kick our way
You always loved this time of year
Those fallen leaves lie undisturbed now
'cause you're not here
'cause you're not here
'cause you're not here

Lies and spin leapt from every media output, the population deluded into believing what they were feed – and I was swept along with them, taxed to hell and without hope. Finally I knew I had to head westward, over the ocean was my only hope of survival – a plane out of England.

Like the sun through the trees you came to love me
Like a leaf on a breeze you blew away

A gentle rain falls softly on my weary eyes

As if to hide a lonely tear
My lift will be Forever Autumn
'cause you're not here
'cause you're not here
'cause you're not here

As I hastened though the City, Paddington and Heathrow, more and more people joined the painful exodus. Sad weary women, their children stumbling and streaked with tears, their men bitter and angry, the rich desperate for a shoulder rub and feeling like an outcast.

We saw CCTV cameras and police everywhere stopping people to see their papers. Coffee shops, ticket offices, one asked for my Identify when I went to the lavatory.

Never before in the history of the world has a mass of human beings moved and suffered together. This was no indiscipline stampede – there was order and a goal, 60% tax had forced the better provisioning of tax planning. It was the beginning of the rout of talent from London, of the massacre of the United Kingdom.

A vast crowd buffeted me towards the boarding gate of the airliner. I looked at all the people already on board, but then looked straight to the left and to my first class seat. At the sight of me the attendant showed me to my seat and asked if I wanted something to drink. At that very moment the door was closed and I caught a glimpse of some migrant airport worker as the plane pulled back and prepared to sweep me away from all that.

Like the sun through the trees you came to love me
Like a leaf on a breeze you blew away.

Through autumn's golden gown we used to kick our way

You always loved this time of year
Those fallen leaves lie undisturbed now
'cause you're not here
'cause you're not here
'cause you're not here

Update: Here is the original.

Wonderful news: Hazel Blears attacked in her car.

2009-08-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

Sadly only the tires were slashed and the windows cracked. It’s a start I suppose, but what should have happened should have been that the cunt was dragged from the car and the fucker strung up from the nearest lamppost and the car torched with her minders still inside.

Normally I would not go along with violent acts like this, but this is the only way that you can communicate with the cunts of the evil nuLieBore regime. The leftie cunts are all up for a bit of rough house when the target is someone from the BNP, but when it comes to one of their own it’s different.

It will happen again; next time they might get it right. If the evil snot goblin doesn’t call an election soon, he is very likely to go down in history as the second prime minister to be assassinated.

The general and special theories of cuntitude

2009-07-05T01:52:00.000-07:00

Two blogs that can help you express your true feelings on http://isacunt.blogspot.com , anyone can be called a cunt. You know you want to. I nominate David Cameron for leading a standing ovation to B’Liar in the house of commons on B’Liar’s last PMQs.

However, there is a special blog for the evil, insane, pant pissing, snot goblin himself http://gordonbrownisacunt.blogspot.com

Execute the Labour government

2009-06-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

Traditional British punishment for treason: to be hung, drawn, and quartered.

Another trouble making sweaty get topped.

It time this form of punishment is brought back, suitably updated for the 21st Centaury. B’Liar, the evil snot goblin, Mandy the queen of darkness, all of the bastards should be topped. What they have done goes far beyond them suffering the disgrace of being voted out of office, they need to be made an example of as a warning to future generations of MPs.

In the old form the executions were done at Tyburn, but that is covered over with Marble Arch now. However, the rest of Hyde Park is a nice open area that could handle the crowds’. The basic form of execution should remain. However, careful monitoring by medical personnel must be made to make sure that the person to be executed does not die too early, say in the hanging or disembowelling phase. Test must ensure that the condemned are not under the influence of any sedatives, pain killers or other medication that would mitigate their suffering.

It would be very important that this covered live on telly at prime-time. A spectacular of this kind would need to be shot in High Definition and viewer to able to choose from multiple angles, etc. Although the broadcast in the United Kingdom (also it’s overseas territories and the common wealth) would have to be free to air, the overseas Pay Per View rights would bring in a fortune; possibly enough to fund the whole event. Subsequent DVD sales would also likely to be very popular and profitable.

The replay of the recording of the event should form part of the state opening of parliament in subsequent years to remind the members what the consequences of misdeeds are.

Pull your finger out HAB

2009-06-28T09:14:00.001-07:00

I keep getting nagged about not ever doing anything with this blog. Well, now I am going to start writing more.

What am I going to blog about? Absolutely anything that crosses my demined mind. My professional interests are related to finance and computing. You can expect some seriously geeky stuff on the markets, or economics together with my moans about technical problems as I am not as ‘techie’ as I once was.

However, I have a deep disgust of the evil nuLieBore regime. Expect a lot ranting about how bad they are. I don’t expect the Conservatives to be any better either.

When I am not blogging or twittering you’ll find me making idiotic comments on the ContractorUK bulletin board where I rant about the evil government, ask stupid technology question and generally lower the tone of the place with my talk of bizarre and deviant sexual preferences and practices (I leave it as an exercise for the reader to decide if it true or not).

If you don’t like my foul language or what I have to say, take a full refund and fuck off.